Suicide is the storm that knocked out our power, plunged us into darkness, blue-penciled our future. An impossible interruption delivered by an unwelcome uniform. Friends and family arrive, and their light accentuates the devastation. Words fall like rain, streaming into the gutter and gushing down the storm drain, too loud to make sense of. Lightning flashes anger. Questions snuff out candles of hope. Well past blankets and hot cocoa, we sit together in the stinging cold, silently alarmed at the landscape of this life, daring still to breathe for who knows how long. Some day we will pick up words like fallen branches, carefully shaving away the splinters wondering what we might use to build something. But not today. Today’s work is to feel the black ache, the powerlessness the unrelenting fear the seeming insignificance of love against such tumult and to gather ourselves gently present anyway.
Wishing you light and strength on your healing path. Especially during the storms.
There is help if you need it: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741